ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
