I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
