Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
