dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
