Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
