i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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