You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
