My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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