she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
