That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
