Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize