Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
