Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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