do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
