You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
