The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
