wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
