No awkward lesbian experiences without me
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
