Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize