her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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