My nipple is on Facebook.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize