Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
