just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
