She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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