Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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