whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
