Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
