please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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