Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
