Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i think i just lost a toe
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
