mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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