I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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