I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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