I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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