I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
