1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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