if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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