The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
