dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
