she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
