omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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