We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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