Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
