is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
