Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
