***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
