Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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