I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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