cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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