i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i believe in u and ur pee
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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