i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Randomize
