called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
