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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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