i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
