So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
