dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
