You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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