i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
