Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
