that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
